How many times have you seen this happen?
I was out at Bear’s Best in Vegas in early November an while I was getting ready to get in line for the first tee, the group in front us was lead by this short Mega-Calorie-Challenged individual who was clearly trying to close some sort of deal with one, or all ,of the guys in his group. Loud mouthed, obnoxious, always two inches from the face of the person he is talking to, making sure he has every second of your attention towards him… I think you get the picture.
You have seen these guys and you can probably expect what takes place next…Yep, he strolls up to the Back tees (at Bear’s Best you are talking 7300+ yds) and with the most awful golf swing you have ever seen systematically topped one up to the front men’s tee and angrily flushing another all the way up to the ladies tee (about 150yds). And if you are tracking along with me on the type of guy he is, Yes, he was talking trash the entire time. (Note: If you have not been to Bear’s Best you are furnished a Forecaddie for the group. Their main purpose is to take care of the foursome by telling them where to hit, clean their clubs, and find their ball. You have to play Bear’s Best. It is one of the best courses I have ever played.) By the time the next guy got up to the tee you could see by his wobbling knees he was not up to hitting from that far back. .so he and the others told the ‘talking fire-hydrant’ they were going to play the middle tees. The other three guys could play and drilled three perfect drives to the middle of the fairway.
To fast forward a little…, this went on for four holes and I got some really unwarranted opportunities to see the most grossly misused attempt of someone who was trying to do business on the golf course. The ‘profane spewing dwarf’ was obviously out classed by the guys he was playing with, but was really thinking he was impressing them. On the last tee box we got to see this display of absurdity the ‘squatty-body’ of a businessman took out a folder from his briefcase and was showing some charts an graphs while their were standing on the tee-box. This guy went so far to follow one of the guys to the cart to layout the entire portfolio on the seat of the cart. The guy forgot he was playing golf and that it was his time to hit. One of the guys yelled at him that it was his time. About that time the Forecaddie insistently instructed the ‘Troll’ he was going to have to move forward to the tees the others were playing or he was going to have to move the group up a hole to get out of our way. Needless to say, our group took up a collection for that Forecaddie for him putting us out of our misery. From there we got to enjoy a perfect day on a wonderful golf course with one of the best Forecaddies (Jason) any of us had ever had…
But unfortunately, the story does not end there… When we got up to the turn there they were and by now the other three guys in the group were getting a little more aggressive with the ‘Munchkin’ and was taking him by the arm to get in the cart, but not until he bought the group hotdogs and hamburgers and demanding the attendant bring out a six-pack of beer and six cigars to them… To be perfectly clear, and so you don’t think Bear’s Best takes likely for this type of behavior from guests, I have to tell you that the forecaddies at Bear’s Best are supervised by a very good Caddie Master, who we tipped very lavishly for the action he took at this point.
The Caddy Master drove up to the 10th tee and asked the gentleman the ‘short loudmouth’ was riding with to put his clubs on the cart and drive as a single. The Caddie Master then got in with ‘the lunatic from Shortsville’ and was now this obnoxious guy’s personal driver… After that, we never say the guy again and we had a very good time…
I did, however, see the other three guys in the 19th. I happened to stroll by while my group was getting settled in and asked how their round went and introduced myself as the guy behind them. They profusely apologies and asked if they could buy my group a drink for what we had to go through. I asked for a rain check since I was wanting to meet with my group for a moment before I had to leave, but I did want to know what took place.
So, here is what you have been waiting for… The short guy was a CEO of a marketing group that helps construction and engineering groups get in front of businesses who are needing their services. These three guys had never heard of the guy until he asked if they would meet him in Vegas. The guy asked if they would meet him at Bear’s Best for a round of golf. They had just met the guy there at Bear’s Best and had no idea what type of guy he was until the first tee box. When I asked what it was he was showing them in the folder, the leader of these three guys said he was showing him the fine print in the contract he was wanting him to sign right there. After the turn the guy again approached them on what they think about the contract and if there is anything in it they need changed. By that time the Caddie Master came up to the other three and asked if the guy was bothering them. When the gentleman told the CM that the short guy was trying to get him to sign a contract, the Caddy Master said ‘enough said’ and radioed in to have two more forecaddies meet him at the next tee-box. From there, the ‘vertically challenged’ individual who thought he was doing Business on the golf course, was escorted off the course with no deal and leaving a bad taste in some very dumfounded businessmen who will not be doing business with that company..
What this boils down to is that there are a bunch of guys out there who are using golf the wrong way to do business. And, probably more important, are putting a bad name on the game of golf… Hopefully they will get my book on How To Play Business Golf and learn the correct way to get the business they are going after. Thanks for reading my story and hopefully this never happens to you, or at least doesn’t happen to you again.